EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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