I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
