well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
