I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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