I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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