i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
