It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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