I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dicks are not precious.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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