We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
