i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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