Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
