i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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