The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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