you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
