I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
