OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
