bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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