Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
