if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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