Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
