Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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