? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
