My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
