so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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