Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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