put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
