my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
