You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
