she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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