When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Im part way to drunk.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
