Soap is not a condiment
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
