I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
