I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
