Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize