Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
