i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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