Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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