I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Operation Purity has been aborted
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize