I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
