Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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