I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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