Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
