I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
