fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
