Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
