i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
