im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It was confusing and full of hummus
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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