Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
