I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
