Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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