i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
