i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
