Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
