Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
