pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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