We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
