dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize