I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
