I have demons in me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
