i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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