weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You made out with two different species that night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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