There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
More tranny stories later!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
